


Yesterday's Reasons

by SpruceOutOfFive



Series: Sterek Week 2020 [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Ace Sterek Week 2020, Ace!Derek, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Asexual Derek Hale, Bisexual Stiles Stilinski, De-Aged Derek Hale, De-aged!Derek, Don't copy to another site, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s04e02 117, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, M/M, One Shot, Romance, S04e02, Sex-Favorable Asexual Derek Hale, Soulmates, Sterek Week 2020, soulmates have different ways of recognizing each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27255706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpruceOutOfFive/pseuds/SpruceOutOfFive
Summary: "Why didn't he- Your alpha? Why didn't he know about us being soulmates if he knows both you and me?""I- It's complicated," Stiles said lamely."How?""It's just-" Stiles felt like tearing his hair out. How could he explain it all to a young Derek who couldn't remember the most devastating and personality altering event of his life? Not remembering the Hale fire and Kate’s role in it meant he had no idea of the 5 million reasons why Derek and Stiles had never even acknowledged the fact that they are soulmates. How could Stiles give him definite answers when he himself knew only some of them and the rest were just his speculation?
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Mentions others - Relationship, mentions of Allison Argent/Scott McCall, mentions of Derek Hale/Kate Argent
Series: Sterek Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984156
Comments: 8
Kudos: 312





	Yesterday's Reasons

**Author's Note:**

> In addition to Sterek Week 2020, Soulmates; this piece is my contribution for Ace Sterek Week Event and I used some of [acesterek's](https://acesterek.tumblr.com/) prompts in the story. (They’re not that heavily focused tho)  
>  **Ace ring** : **Middle (finger)** | Black | Hands | Continuous | Circle of life | Holding on
> 
> Thank you Cera for betaing!

_"All right. You coming with us, or not?"_ Stiles asked Derek, the _sixteen_ -year-old Derek, sitting in front of Stiles and Scott in the sheriff's office at the station. 

"You want me to trust you? Where's my family? Where's my _soulmate_?" The last word was so full of desperation, Stiles could feel his stomach drop. 

Of course. 

Derek may have been de-aged, but even if that had momentarily affected their bond on Derek’s part, Stiles had had skin contact with him again after the pack found him from Mexico. Derek would be seeing the world in full color now, something he hadn't originally been able to do at the age of sixteen.

"Fuck," Stiles breath out, just loud enough to bring the gazes of the two wolves onto him. His heart started beating like crazy and his hands shook slightly. Scott's lost look, as he hadn't known anything about Derek's soulmate, turned into a baffled one when he took in his best friend's reactions. 

"Wha-? Do you know who Derek’s soulmate is? How? Derek’s never taken a part in the discussion about soulmates. I don’t even know how he’s supposed to identify his!” Scott, for lack of a better word, _whined,_ his gaze going back and forth between Stiles and Derek. Somewhere in the middle of his questioning, Scott had started rubbing the mark on his arm, the one that he and Allison had shared.

“Uhh, yeah I do,” Stiles said awkwardly, but apparently he sounded convincing enough despite his madly beating heart, as neither of the wolves looked doubtful. Not even Derek who didn’t even remember _knowing_ Stiles. The only thing that Stiles could recognize on Derek’s face was the same desperation that he had heard earlier, the absolute _need_ to know who his soulmate was.

“So, who is it?” Scott ended up being the one who asked. Derek just stared at Stiles, expectantly, looking like he was holding his breath. Stiles _really_ didn’t want to say it, especially not in front of Scott, but how could he not when Derek was looking at him like that? 

“Me,” Stiles said, grimacing a little. It was deserved, though.

Stiles had just blurted out a heavily guarded secret, one that had never been admitted out loud before. Not when Derek had followed Laura to the Beacon Hills and Stiles had started seeing faded colors for the first time in six years, nor when the two of them had skin contact for the first time, and both Stiles and Derek gained permanent color vision, one that was no longer affected by distance. And now, Derek wasn’t even there to take partial responsibility for hiding it from _everyone_. 

So, in Stiles’ mind, the grimacing was practically _required_ in this situation. And the way Scott’s bewildered eyes were darting between Stiles and Derek, before locking to Stiles, only reinforced the thought.

“The two of you are-? Why didn't you tell me?" Damn if the hurt in Scott's voice didn't stab Stiles straight into the heart. 

"It's complicated," Stiles said tensely while fiddling with his fingers, trying to hide the tremor. "And I think I should talk about it with Derek first," Stiles said and gestured towards the boy staring at him even more intensely than before. "After all, he can’t remember when his world gained permanent colors." 

Scott nodded in agreement, but didn't say a word before leaving the office. Stiles sighed, he knew it wasn't over yet. No doubt there would be a talk about keeping big secrets, like Derek being Stiles’ _soulmate_ , from Scott in the near future. And another talk like that between Stiles and his father. 

He wasn't looking forward to having either of those conversations. They would be painful, probably coming second only to the one he was supposed to have next with Derek.

"You're my soulmate?" Derek asked hesitantly. 

"I am," Stiles said as calmly as he could. The beat of Stiles had started to normalize. It was still faster than usually but not too fast, making it possible for werewolves to detect upticks. The lack of changes when Stiles answered Derek’s question confirmed the truth again, and made the boy in front of him relax slightly. 

Maybe Stiles had been wrong earlier when he had thought that he was convincing? Or then Derek was very used to checking if people lied to him by listening to their hearts. Whatever it was, hearing the uttered admission without detecting a lie seemed to clear all the rest of the doubt from the boy’s mind.

"Why didn't he- Your alpha? Why didn't he know about us being soulmates if he knows both you and me?" 

"I- It's complicated," Stiles said lamely.

"How?" 

"It's just-" Stiles felt like tearing his hair out. How could he explain it all to a young Derek who couldn't remember the most devastating and personality altering event of his life? Not remembering the Hale fire and Kate’s role in it meant he had no idea of the 5 million reasons why Derek and Stiles had never even acknowledged the fact that they are soulmates. How could Stiles give him definite answers when he himself knew only some of them and the rest were just his speculation? 

"We- It wasn't the best timing, when we met. There were a lot of factors complicating the situation, on both of our parts, so we didn't tell others about it yet." 

"Complicating factors? Do you mean Kate?" 

Stiles couldn't completely suppress the wince. "Yeah, Kate's one of them," Stiles said with a slight edge on his voice. 

_Just not in the way you think._

"But," Derek looked lost for a second, "why’d I choose Kate over you?" 

_Hold on, what?_

"Sor-ry, what?" Stiles asked, shocked. He couldn't have heard that right. Or then he definitely misunderstood something because, seriously, _what_? 

"Why would I choose her over you? I like her but I'm not in _love_ with her. And you're both my soulmate and my type. So why would I choose her- unless, you don't like guys?" 

Holy hell the kicked puppy look which had found its way on Derek’s face wrenched Stiles' heart strings hard enough to urge him to just answer the boy. He could leave his doomed to fail attempts of comprehending Derek's words for later. 

"No, I do- I mean not no, I- Fuck," Stiles breathed out. "I'm bi. So no, that's not the thing but it's a long and complicated story and I really think we should have it somewhere with more privacy," Stiles stated calmly and nodded towards the window between the office and the deputies’ desks where one could see Scott and Stiles' dad standing next to the working deputies. 

Derek frowned, and there was a fleeting _something_ visiting his face that made him look almost fragile in Stiles’ eyes. But a second later, any trace of it was gone and Derek nodded. Stiles made a face when the two of them stepped out of the office and started walking towards his dad and Scott. The Sheriff had his mouth in a firm line. 

"We'll talk about this later," was all he said before Stiles and Derek passed them. Stiles nodded with a scolded expression. He threw one more apologetic look at Scott right before walking out with Derek. 

Stiles led the way to his jeep and they climbed into it in silence. Stiles was ready to thank every deity whose name he could remember for the fact that Derek did not start shooting more questions at him the second they rolled off the station. There was absolutely no guarantee Stiles wouldn’t accidentally crash his jeep if they had that conversation, _those_ conversations, in a moving car.

However, Derek was obviously growing more and more nervous on the seat next to him, and if it weren’t just a few minutes drive to his house, Stiles would have been tempted to start talking. Derek would have survived a car crash anyway and if Stiles got hurt, well, at the very least he would’ve been able to postpone their talk even farther in the future. 

It didn’t matter though because Stiles wasn’t even able to finish that thought before he could see his house. They made it to the driveway and got out of the car, but the second Stiles slammed the door on his side shut, Derek was there next to him, looking at him almost frantically.

“It’s because I’m ace, right? That’s why you didn’t want us to talk in front of your alpha. But it doesn’t mean I can’t have sex! I’ve had sex! I like it! So, I’m not broken and useless! I can still-” Derek was babbling at this point and it could have been hilarious, seeing usually so quiet Derek talking so rapidly, if it weren’t for the insecure posture and scared expression on the teen’s face.

Somehow, it came as a reflex for Stiles to just grab Derek’s shoulders and still the boy. He quieted down but that was all Stiles’ actions did, the panic wasn’t banished yet.

So, Stiles opened his mouth and without breaking the newly obtained eye contact between them he stated.

“It’s not because you’re asexual.”

Stiles paused, wanting the words to really sink in before continuing.

“I didn’t know you’re ace, so it has not been a deciding factor on my part. I can’t say it hasn’t been affecting your decision, though. But even if I had known, even if you were a sex-repulsed ace, or just wouldn’t want to have sex with me _ever_ , for whatever reason, it wouldn’t matter. And none of it, absolutely _none of it_ would make you broken or useless.”

At this point Derek was blinking rapidly, looking like he was on the verge of tears, and Stiles felt like punching someone. One very specific someone with a long blond hair and more than just a few homicides under her belt, because Stiles was certain _she_ had been the one to feed Derek the idea that people who don’t want to have sex are broken and useless, ace or not.

Seriously, fuck Kate Argent. In a very non-sexual way. Stiles’ preferred method would have been hitting her with his jeep, running over her a few times before giving her the middle finger for good measure and speeding away. Because if there was one person in the world that deserved to be brutally maimed with a car it was Kate _fucking_ Argent. Stiles wouldn’t have even cared about the new dents or the blood on Roscoe, the two of them would have worn them with pride.

Stiles closed his eyes and took a deep, calming breath to get rid of what was left of the Kate Argent induced rage. When he opened them again, Stiles held Derek’s gaze for another second and squeezed him gently on the shoulders before letting go and taking a step back.

“C’mon, we still need to talk about the real reasons behind no one knowing we’re soulmates, and it’s better to do that inside the house. It’s- it’s not a pleasant topic,” Stiles warned, tiredly.

He started walking towards the house without really giving Derek any time to answer. Stiles wasn’t eager to be the one to break the news about most of Derek’s family being dead, especially not the part about the killer being a woman Derek had dated, and in fact thought he was _still_ dating - a hunter in disguise who had burned down the Hale house and all the people in it, excluding Derek’s uncle Peter. 

Yeah, definitely not a fun conversation, but they had to have it. The pack had no idea how long Derek would stay as a teenager, and whether it was a permanent change or not, but they couldn’t dodge the hard questions forever. Stiles had been dragging his feet long enough as it was, and as a result Derek had tried filling the blanks himself and felt insecure and insignificant because of the incorrect conclusions he’d reached.

“I guess it’s too optimistic to think we’re not together because it’s you who’s dating someone else,” Derek asked after the front door shut behind them. The werewolf looked around curiously but his shoulders were hunched. Derek was obviously readying himself for the bad news Stiles had warned him about.

“Uhh, well, I know _you_ dated someone a little while back,” Stiles said while heading to the stairs. He was glad his back was on to Derek, because that let Stiles hide the expression on his face, the one born from thinking Derek’s _other_ homicidal ex-girlfriend. 

“And I hooked up with this one girl who recently joined our pack a few times. But yeah, that’s not the reason either. As far as I know, both of us are single, as we were when we first realized that we’re soulmates.”

They’d made it to Stiles’ room. 

Stiles gestured around, trying to indicate that Derek could sit wherever he wanted, and sat down on the computer chair himself. Derek hesitated for a second but then sat down on the edge of Stiles’ bed, facing the owner of the room. Stiles moved his chair closer. He wanted to be able to do something if Derek were to run out of the door or defenestrate himself.

“Okay,” Stiles said after a deep breath. As the one last procrastination tactic, Stiles moved a box of tissues closer to the other boy. He tried to be subtle about it but the hazel eyes caught him in the act. They were filled with fear.

Stiles started talking.

He told Derek how he’d been kidnapped and de-aged by Kate Argent. Told him what happened to his family. About the fear and anger Stiles had harbored against his soulmate for losing his colors mere months after his mother’s death and how that had kept Stiles from accepting the bond at first. He told about Scott having gotten bitten and about the complicated relationship they had had with Derek in the beginning. Told that Beacon Hills hadn’t been particularly peaceful lately, meaning they’d all had a lot on their plate. No time for Derek and Stiles to hash out the details or their expectations for the bond.

Then Stiles moved into his speculations. Things that could be what kept Derek from acknowledging the bond either. Laura’s death. Kate. Trust issues. Stiles’ age. Derek’s aceness. He didn’t forget to mention concrete examples of how Beacon Hills’ shit had affected Derek’s life too. Peter in a killing spree, Derek becoming the alpha and building a pack, the kanima, the alpha pack, Cora’s return, Jennifer, the nogitsune.

Eventually Stiles ran out of things to say and a loaded silence fell on them. 

Derek had listened surprisingly calmly, not interrupting Stiles even once, although his hands had fisted and tears started falling when Stiles told him about Kate and the Hale fire. He hadn’t reached for the tissues, though. Derek had just stared back at Stiles with wet cheeks and shaky hands. Stiles had slowly placed his hand over Derek’s white knuckles in hopes of providing some comfort. The wolf had let it be there.

Stiles hadn’t given the gesture much thought during the explanation, but now that the silence over them was stretching and stretching, he was starting to feel awkward. 

Just when Stiles was about to pull back, Derek asked, hesitantly, his voice quivering.

“Can- can I hug you?”

Slightly shocked, but not one to stay speechless for long, Stiles nodded.

“Y-yeah, sure.”

If his voice broke in the beginning, it didn’t really matter because soon he had his arms full of a teenage boy. Stiles was carefully balancing the two of them on his computer chair while Derek seemed to be making sure that there was no way for Stiles to escape the embrace. Not that he wanted to, he was just mentally noting down the fact that there was definitely some werewolf strength in the play.

When Derek finally let go and leaned back, it was only to shock Stiles even more.

“Can I kiss you?”

What the hell could he say? It wasn’t like _Stiles_ had anything against kissing Derek. He’d gotten over his own issues regarding their soulbond a while back. And Derek was attractive, both now and as older. And he’d become important to all of them. So yeah, no issues there. But how would Derek react when he returned to normal? And even if he was okay with it, _this_ Derek had just learned his family had been killed _by his girlfriend_. He couldn’t be in the right mindset for any soulmate bullshit.

“I-I don’t think it’s a good, idea considering I just gave you the worst possible news, and I’m not sure you’re in the right mindset-”

“ _Please_. I- it doesn’t have to mean you acknowledge the bond, but- the last person I remember kissing is the one who killed all my family. I don’t- I- I feel-” The boy was starting to look desperate while struggling to find the right words, so Stiles brought his hands on Derek’s cheeks but instead of kissing, he pressed their foreheads together. The other boy stilled.

Stiles held them in that position for a few seconds before leaning back and asking almost firmly.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” the tone was both eager and desperate. Derek obviously wanted it, but was it for the right reasons? Stiles wanted to sigh. He didn’t.

“Okay, just, if some fairytale bullshit happens and you turn into the older you again after the kiss, please don’t rip my throat out with your teeth or anything.”

Derek’s startled laugh was swallowed by Stiles when he leaned forward and pressed his lips on Derek’s. The kiss was careful and sweet, and when Stiles broke it, he didn’t move back, just pressed his forehead against Derek’s again.

“You okay?” he whispered.

Derek nodded against him before mumbling.

“No fairytale bullshit.”

It was Stiles' turn to bark a laugh.

“Yeah, no fairytale bullshit.” Stiles eyed the boy for a second before asking.

“Do you wanna lie down for a second?”

Derek nodded and moved away. He did grab Stiles' hand before going too far though.

“Lie with me?”

Stiles didn’t hesitate this time.

“Yeah, okay.”

At first they just lied down facing each other, but when Derek shifted slightly closer Stiles just raised his arm and let the boy crawl into his embrace. They fell asleep like that.

* * * * * *

_Delayed fairytale bullshit._

That was Stiles’ first thought when he woke up, and instead of seeing the face of the 16-year-old boy who had fallen asleep in his arms, he saw the back of a grown man, now closer to the edge of the bed than Stiles. Derek was still lying there but Stiles was pretty sure he wasn’t sleeping anymore. His body was too tense for that.

“Derek?”

Somehow the man seemed to tense even more before he slowly turned to face Stiles. He was obviously reluctant to do that, though. Stiles let his eyes travel over Derek’s face for a moment, trying to gauge how the man was feeling.

“Ar-”

“I’m not going to rip your throat out with my teeth.”

“What?”

“You asked me not to rip your throat out for kissing me. I’m not going to.”

“Oh, okay.” Stiles was kind of surprised by that. Not that he had actually expected to get his throat torn out if Derek remembered the kiss, but he had still expected _some_ sort of a violent reaction.

“Scott texted,” Derek mentioned while looking away from Stiles.

Stiles grimaced. He still owed his best friend both an apology and an explanation. His dad too...

“About?” 

“They had a confrontation with Kate, she got away.”

“So we shouldn’t lower our guard then.”

“Yeah.”

Silence. It was awkward. Just lying there on the bed, facing each other without anything to say.

“Stiles?”

“Yeah?”

"I'll kiss you again, but I need to wait until you're eighteen," Derek's eyes were pained when he said that but Stiles understood. Derek didn't want to be anything like Kate, and Stiles respected that. Besides, he was happy with the promise and a timeline. His birthday was just a few months away, too. 

Stiles shifted closer so there was barely any room between them before whispering. "That's fine by me."

Derek looked almost too relieved to hear that, and Stiles’ heart ached. 

“You know we don’t have to start kissing right after I turn eighteen either, right? I’m already happy with just us acknowledging the bond and the decision that there’s going to be _something_ there, but I’m not in a rush. If you need more time to feel comfortable kissing me, it’s fine. Same with everything else, I can wait. And it’s fine if you never want to make things more physical either. I’m good with just cuddles, dude.”

Derek frowned at him. 

“I distinctly remember telling you I am a sex-favorable ace, that I _like_ sex. Trust me Stiles, I do want to take our relationship that direction, just... not when you’re under eighteen.”

_And I distinctly remember the 16-year-old you saying that in order to convince me you’re not broken or useless._

Stiles didn’t say that out loud, though. Nothing would have been gained from Stiles reminding Derek of his insecurities like that. He decided to try to lighten up the conversation a bit instead.

“Hmm, good to know. Maybe instead of getting you a cool ace ring, I’ll gift you with another kind of black ring, then,” Stiles wiggled his eyebrows and let his gaze travel lower on Derek’s body, making sure Derek understood _exactly_ what kind of rings he meant.

Derek huffed a laugh and moved closer, putting his arms around Stiles. Then he echoed back Stiles’ earlier answer. “That’s fine by me.”

They stayed like, just cuddling in silence. They were both content with that, it was enough for them.

It wasn’t until they could hear a car park outside and the front door open that Stiles sighed and let go of Derek. His smile turned sad.

"’I think I need to go talk to my dad now."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! My [tumblr](https://spruceoutoffive.tumblr.com/)


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